Lately I’ve been having some problems in my marriage. I’ve talked to my husband about some of the stuff, but some things I don’t know how to approach. And even the things I do try to talk to him about, he just acts like he doesn’t want to talk and doesn’t take me seriously. do you think it would be childish of me to just write him a letter to tell him exactly how I feel>
I have suggested marriage counseling, but he doesn’t think we need to go
Kick him in his nuts and tell him "we need to talk"
February 26th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
i think its a great idea
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February 26th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Kick him in his nuts and tell him "we need to talk"
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February 26th, 2010 at 7:27 pm
yes i’d think it was childish.if you two can’t talk i suggest you get into marriage counselling
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February 26th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
I agree, its a clear and concise way to get your feelings out.
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February 26th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
No , that is a great idea.
When I have an issue that i just can’t find the words face to face.. I email my spouse.. U get the true point across and it almost forces a responce
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February 26th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Absolutely not! If he wont listen to your words, write them down. If you dont try your hardest to get your point across its going to eat at you. I think its a great idea.
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
I think that its a great idea. Me and my bf would take time out each day and write down our day on a pad thru out the entire week and we would give it to one another every sunday and let one another respond in the pad but we could not get mad at what we wrote or hold it againist one another
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
nope, i think it is a good idea and it might make him realise that you are being serious.
good luck
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
no, it’s not childish. i’ve done it. i think it’s very helpful. even if you just write it out and then tell him face to face. writing a letter helps you plan out exactly what you want to say. i am a very emotional person and if i’m upset about something and try to talk about it, i usually wind up crying and rarely ever finish saying what i really want to say. writing a letter can be a very non-confrontational way to approach him, as well. good luck!!
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
If writing a letter makes you feel better, then I would write a letter. Of course, keep in mind that if someone is not receptive they may also not be receptive to a letter either. Leave, most of the time that does get someones attention. If he doesn’t care that you left then you are better off without him. Life is too short to live miserable.
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February 26th, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Excellent idea. A letter will allow you to get everything out, with your thoughts straight and in order. Tell him exactly how you feel. Even if he doesn’t respond positively, you will at least have vented….which is so important….and he’ll never be able to claim "I didn’t realize that". Hopefully if he sees how deeply you are bothered, he’ll agree to councelling…..or at least a few productive heart to heart chats with you. Stress in your letters that you’re doing this to help the marriage….not to point fingers and blame. Tell him how important this is, and please not to ignore it…to keep an open mind. Much luck!
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February 26th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
a letter is not a bad idea if he will actually read it and pay attention if he reads it… a letter is a good way to calmly put your thoughts down so he knows how you are feeling but if he is not willing to listen to you or take you seriously when you try talking to him then I don’t see why a letter would work. Maybe you should try counseling
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February 26th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
I think it would be a great idea. Not only will it get your thoughts to him. But just as importantly, you’d release these things that are troubling you.
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February 26th, 2010 at 11:47 pm
writing letters ensures that he will read your thoughts without interrupting you or walking away but depending on his character and the way he approaches things, it may do no good. He is your husband and if you cannot sit down and with respect lodge your complaints, then what kind of marriage do you really have. Communication is one of the "must haves" in a marriage and I hope it all works out for you.
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February 27th, 2010 at 12:17 am
Letters can be effective if direct talk isn’t. I recommend acknowledging in the beginning a few things you think are terrific about him, and close with that as well. Put your concerns in the middle of the letter. Use words that take the heat directly off of him. So instead of saying "you make me feel bad…." , say "I feel bad in these situations." Another idea is chat – if you have that. I have found my wife and I can discuss things over chat that we sometimes can’t approach directly. You just have to be careful because emails and chats don’t convey tone of voice. And lastly, go ahead and write the letter even if you don’t end up giving it to him. It will help you to get it out on paper. Best wishes.
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February 27th, 2010 at 12:56 am
No it is not childish! Sometimes putting things in writing is the only way to truly get someone attention. Also it helps you putting your thought on paper, to validate how you feel, even if that person never reads it. I hope you work though this and good luck!
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I keep a daily journal of how I am feeling about things going on im my life. It helps to get it off my chest!
February 27th, 2010 at 1:26 am
I think that is a great idea but here is the problem…his attention span! Let’s hope he reads the letter and responds. Second option is you probably need to seek counseling. Just you for right now…to talk to someone about the things you don’t know how to approach. Then involve him in the sessions.
You must get him to take you seriously and action works better than words with men.
Oh, if he refuses to seek counseling with you once you are ready then it will be time for a little tough love. leave for a week and don’t return any phone calls unless he is willing to talk. Stop doing certain chores around the house…you know this type of tough love that will get his attention and let him know you are serious about what you say.
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February 27th, 2010 at 2:00 am
no i don’t think it is childish sit down and relax and let your heart do the writing i have written my hubby a letter after i had a misscarriage cause i had things i felt like i could not talk to him about and it helped
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February 27th, 2010 at 2:47 am
You could start writing it down and then after you read it and reread it you than can decide for yourself if it really worth giving it to him. Then you can come back to it and get rid of it if it is unsuitable.
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February 27th, 2010 at 3:18 am
sometimes writing a letter gives the person a lot to think about ,were as if u try to talk they r not really listening to u,,i say write him n put it were only he can see it ,n i bet he will read it twice,,then win he gets home let him bring the letter up,peace n love b with u both.
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February 27th, 2010 at 3:32 am
You have every right to get his attention how ever it works… If this is easier for you, do it… If he fails to listen and you have given it your all… You will know you tried right…
Chin up !
)
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February 27th, 2010 at 3:42 am
just do what you think is right for you before everything breaks out or become too late
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February 27th, 2010 at 3:50 am
nope. I don’t think it would be childish. many girls do it. But when you write it, you may have to write it and edit it a few times to cut down on what you’re saying. As women we tend to be very long winded at times. Remember he’s a guy and he will get easily distracted by a long letter.
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February 27th, 2010 at 4:35 am
I think writing a letter would be a good idea. I know for me, personally, I can express my thoughts better in words than in person. However, along that same line, try to remember that some people don’t comprehend reading well – he might not interpret what he’s reading in the same manner that you meant when you wrote it. Writing a letter is a good idea, but be prepared to explain what you meant if he misunderstands something you’re trying to get across to him.
For example: I once wrote something to an ex. I was sad when I wrote it, I was trying to explain something & think I may have been crying. But, when he read it, he thought I was angry, he took things the wrong way…which meant he automatically turned on "defense" mode rather than trying to understand.
Good Luck!
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February 27th, 2010 at 5:00 am
many times i have wrote letters to my hubby pouring my heart out paper is so much easier and he loves reading them and understands more, i don’t just express my concerns i fill the letter with love and passion as well
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